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Wall of Words
Day 1: Today as I was driving to work, I realized that I wasn’t really focused solely on the driving, but paying attention to a wall of words cascading through my brain, a voice in my head that came in loud and clear. It was telling me that I am terrible at my job and…
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Synesthesia
Synesthesia is when you hear music and see shapes. Or you look at a number and see the color red. It’s when you experience one of your senses through another. You may see a particular shape when you hear certain notes of music. And it remains the same throughout your life. For example, if you…
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Manic Remains
Once when I was manic I climbed into the closet under the stairs and started sawing away into the side wall where there is space under the stairwell, to create a tiny room. I cut a square opening, and discovered that there wasn’t quite enough space for a room. But I created a great place…
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Around the Edges
When I wrote The Story of Her, I was hypomanic, and freely expressing my thoughts about a unique relationship. I decided at that point to honor the time and space I am in now, and just think about my situation, and if I needed anything more. I decided that I do not. I am happy…
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Playing Around
I’ve been playing around with the Theme options on wordpress, which I am woefully ill equipped to be doing, as I am not very tech savvy. So my blog has a new look, with some missing features that will take me some time to either mourn or fix by getting some technology learnin.’ Hopefully the…
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Calming the Voices
I write here about a new found confidence that I experienced in my job, and how I didn’t know if it was personal growth or the beginning of a mania. It turns out is was a small breakthrough hypomania. I have been plagued again with doubts about my job performance, which could be the sign…
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Tears
It’s a dreary day today. I heated up a cup of tea, and curled up in my favorite cozy chair. I had the day off from work, and my husband took half a day off and we watched an episode of the series This is Us on hulu (spoiler alert). It’s a drama with some…
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I Don’t Love You That Way
I am resting in the calm before the storm, and it feels divine. Don’t jump your thoughts ahead, just stay in the moment of stillness and quiet and enjoy. Lately the weather has been such that whiskey calls my name, but I have not taken to drinking, I just tell the voice “not today,” and…
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Did You Hear Me?
“Hello? Did you hear me?” Sometimes when someone asks me a question I say “what?” as if I didn’t hear them, but sometimes it is just to give myself processing time. It’s an automatic habit that I am trying to break because I have come to learn that it is very aggravating for the person…
