-
Skin Deep
Today tears rolled down my cheeks in a steady stream, but there was no relief, just an emptiness inside. It feels physical. You could reach in and none of my organs would be there, not my lungs, nor my heart. My skin is just a vessel that holds nothing inside. A scarred and ugly vessel,…
-
Hidden Depression
I just finished watching a TedTalk entitled How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression by Margaret Rutherford. As a therapist, she discusses the shortcomings of the DSM if one is faced with a patient who hides the depths of their depression, and allows their therapist to see only what they are not too ashamed to admit.…
-
Turbulence Ahead
Sometimes making the choice to take care of my bipolar is not fun. I just want to relax and have a few drinks, and not worry that it will interfere with my medication. But the truth is I am stuck in the middle of being a social drinker and being an alcoholic. Some days I…
-
Wind Songs
I love ladders, and lanterns and boats. My artwork is interspersed with symbols of ways to climb, light the way, and float on the surface. The last time I scrawled a ladder onto paper was the day my father went into the intensive care unit. I made the trip to say goodbye, and haven’t sketched anything since; not…
-
Climbing Ladders
I know the steps to get there, but something is missing that enables me to carry out the task. I have nothing to lean my ladder against. Whether it is sobriety, or work, or expressing myself genuinely, there is something missing in my working memory, or executive functioning or my subconscious that will not allow me to…
