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Manic Music
I’ve been reading Julie Fast’s Book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and it’s brought back memories of my last manic episode and reminded me how precarious the line is between being healthy and being unwell. My intentions in reading it was to help a friend in need, which it has done, but it created almost…
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My Skin is Falling Off in Sheets
I had a dream in which I was under a waterfall and my skin was falling off in sheets, but instead of it being horrifying, it was a cleansing feeling. It was as if I was shedding negative thoughts and feelings. That’s where I feel like I am now, although it doesn’t come as easily…
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Spirit at my Bedside
It was early; my usual time to wake up, four-thirty in the morning. I opened my eyes and saw a bright figure, in the form that we usually associate with death – the hooded, cloaked figure. Yet, it was a brilliant white/blue light. It was surprised by me it seemed, and dashed away, transforming into…
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Josh Ritter
Today has been a cold and rainy day, but it is a day off from work and I took a wonderful long nap without guilt. I decided it was a day to take care of my mental health. I walked my dog this evening and enjoyed the crisp air, the rain puddles, and the quiet…
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The Flip Side
Maybe there is a flip side to my peaceful feeling. Maybe I had to work really hard to get to feeling good. Maybe I had to dissociate. All of this could be true. Maybe the knowledge that I have been there before, had those dark feelings and wouldn’t welcome them again are what propel me…
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Stop Making Art
“Stop Making Art” is the message trickling daily like a babbling brook through my brain. Once in a while it will scream it. I don’t really blame bipolar or medication, I think it’s more of a passive aggressive response to the fact that when I make art, I spread out and make a mess, and…
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Giant Leap
Julia Cameron, the author of many books on creativity, shares a saying attributed to John Burroughs, “Leap and the net will appear.” To me this means in the realm of creativity, take a chance, dream big, and often the next step will be presented to you, a path will appear, and you will move forward…
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Vanity Takes the Lead
Ever since I can remember, I have cared too much about beauty. In one way, this is what spurred me on to explore the visual arts, as I felt special when I could create something that was beautiful. But there was an ugly side to that concern, and it was vanity. I grew up in…
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Hopscotch of Moods
Today my mood is playing games with me. The good feelings that I had about my job are now tainted by events of the day. I am more certain that the thrill of my excellent performance at work was based on some breakthrough mania. I am working with a student who is extremely aggressive; I…
Moody Paper 