Moody Paper

Category: Mental Illness

  • Friendships

    There are things about friendship that I don’t understand. Wait, that’s not it. I have a hard time maintaining friendships. During every life change, when I move on from a group of friends for whatever reason, be it a move or a change in job, I don’t keep in touch. I don’t always understand why,…

  • When the Mind Dances

    This morning, as I was driving in the dark, I felt my soul start to leave my body. I had a sudden feeling of elation; I felt like a part of me without boundaries was dispersed and floating above me. Seconds later I felt terror as my rational brain kicked in and I doubted any…

  • Manic: A Memoir by Terri Cheney

    I have devoured three memoirs of bipolar and depression in two days, using long hours in the afternoon to read. My favorite book by far was Terri Cheyney’s Manic: A Memoir. It’s not written chronologically, but by varying mood states. It sweeps you off your feet and takes you on a bipolar ride. You are…

  • Seeking Sadness

    I am listening to Jack’s Mannequin and noticing that I have a mild headache, which is rare for me. I ordered three books and cannot wait to get them so I can read for hours on end with the summer days that stretch out ahead of me. I seem to be singularly focused on books…

  • A Glimmer of God

    I have a “big protective guide” around me and he shows himself as a large male. That’s what magical cat told me, a woman who is psychic. I’ve always been skeptical of psychics while still being fascinated by them. I found the idea of a big protective guide particularly comforting. Today I ask myself if…

  • Too Many Places

    I’m back with the Brothers Comatose and their song called “Too Many Places.” The music makes me feel happy despite the anxiety inducing lyrics. “There’s too many places I need to be. I can’t get there with all this weighing on me.” I have tomorrow off from work, giving me a three day weekend; my…

  • Back to the Drawing Board

    It has been ten years since I have exhibited any artwork, and almost as long since I have created any art. Recently my husband released an album on band camp and we used a collaboration art piece that we did as the cover. It will also be used as the actual cover for the CD…

  • Inside My Mind

    Ideas. I feel like I don’t have any. Feelings, they are dulled. When I cry I don’t make a sound, I just have tears rolling down my cheeks, and that is very rare. I felt happy this morning, so I had to wonder if I was entering mania. But then my mood shifted to anxious…

  • The Bipolar Spectrum

    Natasha Tracy recently posted on Instagram “But did you also know that bipolar disorder exists on a spectrum? Some people may experience mild symptoms that are easily managed (rare), while others may struggle with more severe symptoms that require more intensive treatment.” I have always had in the back of my mind that I don’t…

  • “I told you so,” trigger warning SI

    I know Julie Fast says that it’s common for people with bipolar to have suicidal thoughts that she calls “cloud thoughts” that drift in and out, and while they are to be taken seriously, it is a normal part of the bipolar experience, and to take necessary precautions. I am thankful to have read her…