I have stopped making art. When I tell people I am done making art, they don’t believe me, or they are curious as to why, but I don’t really know what to tell them. When I made art I was messy, I took up space, I had a visual voice that was loud, even if the work said something quiet. I don’t want to take up that kind of space right now, in that way.

I’ve had two hallucinations, they were both minor, both side effects of a new medication. I was walking between our cars when a hand jutted out from the door of my car. It was almost transparent, and disappeared within seconds. My other hallucination appeared as I tried to park my car in the dark. A vehicle that was a combination of a motorcycle and shopping cart was tumbling into my parking space. Fortunately, it continued to tumble into the two spaces ahead of mine so I could park without incident.

I’ve had two visitors at night as I awakened from my dreams. One was my deceased father-in-law, he was just looking in on us at the side of the bed. He wore a fishing hat to let me know he was also watching over his grandson, who liked to go fishing with him. My other visitor was a student of mine, I was dreaming of him, and awakened to see him by my bedside. He is non-verbal, so perhaps one day he will appear again and talk to me.

I have two ways of feeling ugly right now. My face has broken out, which it does when I drink something with citrus in it. I also cut my own bangs, and that didn’t go well. I am going to a salon tomorrow to get highlights in my hair, and I’m hoping she’ll be able to improve on my bangs also. Guess who is doing my hair? That beautiful singer from the party, with the soulful voice, owns a salon. I am going to dish with her as she does my hair. I wanted to tell her that she brought beauty into the world as she sang, and as I heard her voice join with one other, the two voices made the stars dance in the night sky.

Perhaps there is room for my kind of art again, it is just resting quietly while I explore other forms of beauty.