Ideas. I feel like I don’t have any. Feelings, they are dulled. When I cry I don’t make a sound, I just have tears rolling down my cheeks, and that is very rare. I felt happy this morning, so I had to wonder if I was entering mania. But then my mood shifted to anxious by the afternoon, and my body felt exhausted, so I don’t have to worry about a mood change.

Do you have any plans for the summer? Yes, I plan on sleeping. That is my favorite part of the day. Climbing into bed and feeling the sensation of my body stretched out, relaxed, and ready to slumber. Making sure the closet door is closed; that’s where my dream visitors like to gather before they present themselves. Hoping my brain finds a resting place that’s comforting. Consciously choosing a peaceful image to replace disturbing thoughts.

I am happy again, but not too happy. I feel hopeful that the day will bring good things. I relax into my routine. The anxiety is minimal. Back and forth my mood swings, but it’s only small increments, so it is very manageable. The medicine is working. Today will be a good day. I recall a few lines from the musical “Next to Normal,” where the patient says, “I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t feel anything.” The psychiatrist replies, “Hmm. Patient is stable.” I express gratitude that I can still feel my emotions, and I am just working on expressing them.