Today I am 100 days sober.

So far I have only had minor cravings, usually in the evenings when my husband and I used to drink together. I sometimes miss it when I want to write, because the drink helped the words come more easily.

I feel so even emotionally; I don’t miss the ups and downs that I’m sure were the result of my drinking. I feel that the bipolar medicine now has the chance to do it’s best work.

I am on Step 4 of “Staying Sober Without God,” which is “make a comprehensive list of our resentments, fears and harmful actions.” I find the work to be exhausting and humbling. Shame is the common emotional thread that weaves throughout. I thumbed through my DBT, (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) folder and found a page on emotional regulation, so I will work through that until shame takes a holiday. In the meantime, I will celebrate my accomplishment, and send out gratitude to those who have helped me through. Thank you to my family!