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Turbulence Ahead
Sometimes making the choice to take care of my bipolar is not fun. I just want to relax and have a few drinks, and not worry that it will interfere with my medication. But the truth is I am stuck in the middle of being a social drinker and being an alcoholic. Some days I…
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Wind Songs
I love ladders, and lanterns and boats. My artwork is interspersed with symbols of ways to climb, light the way, and float on the surface. The last time I scrawled a ladder onto paper was the day my father went into the intensive care unit. I made the trip to say goodbye, and haven’t sketched anything since; not…
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Climbing Ladders
I know the steps to get there, but something is missing that enables me to carry out the task. I have nothing to lean my ladder against. Whether it is sobriety, or work, or expressing myself genuinely, there is something missing in my working memory, or executive functioning or my subconscious that will not allow me to…
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Wait
My brain is not being kind to me as of late. It feels like my judgement is off. What I have done to deserve this, I am not sure. As much as I try to do the right thing, mistakes are made due to a poor judgement call, or a lack of logic, or memory loss. Above all…
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You Should Be Dancing
Today I am experiencing a burst of energy, and some psychomotor agitation; I am clapping, and singing, and doing household chores, I simply cannot sit still for long or concentrate on reading. It started this morning like a light switch that just turned on, and off to buzzing I go. My husband is playing the guitar…
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Memories Take a Holiday
My medicine is playing with my memories, hiding them behind tall bookcases, among the dust bunnies, and in the closet under the stairs. I still need those memories, thank you very much. Good thing I have people around me to tell me how old my dog really is, or what small town I visited last month, or…
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Puddles
I love jumping barefoot in puddles, especially when I was a kid, but every once in a while you will find me doing it now. Right in front of my home there is a dip in the road that makes a perfect puddle for jumping. The sidewalk from my front porch to the street indents into the…
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Never Give Up
Some days are just not going to be as bright as others. And that’s okay, because we never give up. We’ve had dappled sunlight three days ago, so I will reach back to remember those afternoons. I had a lapse in my sobriety. It started with making a hot toddy for my congestion, which has whiskey in…
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Manic Movie
One of my more memorable manic episodes, five years after I was diagnosed, resulted in the making of a short film that was entitled Reflections in Passing. I had an interest in screenwriting which began after seeing the film Good Will Hunting written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, and further cemented by the film Magnolia by…
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Missing
Two days before the winter break I got a dizzy spell that was rather startling. I reached out for my coworkers arm and she guided me to a wall I could rest against. She called for the school nurse, and soon I was in her office getting my blood pressure checked. It was high, but not dangerously so. I…
Moody Paper 