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Manic Remains
Once when I was manic I climbed into the closet under the stairs and started sawing away into the side wall where there is space under the stairwell, to create a tiny room. I cut a square opening, and discovered that there wasn’t quite enough space for a room. But I created a great place…
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Crying Gets the Sad Out of You
I don’t remember my dreams anymore. In college I kept a dream journal, and sometimes I would remember two dreams a night. I would write them down and read about possible interpretations, use them to inspire my art, and ruminate over their meanings. I suspect the medication that helps me sleep really well also is…
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Stop Dragging My Heart Around
“You still love me, don’t you?” That was a question a friend asked me via facebook messenger this week. I was taken aback, as he was in the midst of telling me about a woman he was very interested in, and usually he does not focus on me at all during these conversations. I responded…
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Three of Me
There are three of me, at least. The one that floats just above, who hears voices, sees things that aren’t there, and sends down the songs to loop in my mind. She likes to spin in circles, stirring up thoughts so they mingle with one another. She loves to spend money, laugh loudly, act boldly.…
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Beauty in your Madness
I haven’t been able to write lately. I can’t find the words to describe how I have been feeling, and it seems that it doesn’t matter anyway even if I could. That is my anxiety talking, it has been swirling in my brain and taking up space. Thoughts run parallel to a song I invited…
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Me and ECT?
I remember the fireflies. We would sit on the steps of the porch and watch them light up. Collectors we were. Of fireflies, buckeyes, and hail. They were, for now, temporary exhibits on the dresser, next to grandma’s silver mirror and brush. A row of jars on display for our friend Elena to examine and…
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Julie Fast’s Health Cards
Julie Fast’s Health Cards will be out in a new addition in the Fall. Julie is taking a break from social media until August 1st so she can work on her updates to the Health Cards. I am so excited that this tool will be updated and available for people with bipolar. I have used…
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Changing Directions
My mind is racing just a bit, as I stumble out the door to walk my dog at 4:30 in the morning. I hear lyrics: “Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room…” I hear a grocery list: bananas, milk, pudding. I feel the wind kick up in a sudden…
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Extra Bones
The podiatrist gestured to my x-rays and proclaimed, “You have extra bones on your toes, nothing that needs surgery,” and that was that. They were thin little bones jutting out of the right side of each of the phalanges. I didn’t use my voice to ask anything about it. Sometimes it takes me a while…
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Lost Marbles Book Review
I remember when I first came across Natasha Tracy’s body of work it was an immersive experience. I read her book, followed her blog and listened to her podcasts. I had previously read other writers with bipolar such as Julie Fast, Kay Redfield Jamison, and Andy Behrman. What initially struck me about Tracy’s work was…
Moody Paper 