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Puddle Jumping
It’s not raining outside, but I am having a “jumping in puddles” kind of day. For me that’s when it feels like a switch has turned on and I find myself actively moving through my day with sheer happiness. I am jumping from one activity to another, from sweeping, to folding clothes, to making art,…
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Well Below Average
I got results from my assessments taken by the neuropsychologist. My mother went with me to take notes, and that was a real blessing. The doctor explained it quite thoroughly, and gosh darn if he wasn’t looking into my soul. I know he is an expert on the brain, but he made observations of my…
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“Correct!”
If I wasn’t on medication, I’d be manic. I can feel a few symptoms creeping in – pressured speech, hypersexuality, feeling happier than usual, staying up late. The last time I wrote, I was discouraged when talking about my memory issues, but now I feel peaceful. The calmness that’s come over me is occurring because…
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I’m One of Them
I am too embarrassed to come here. I would have to tell you about a moment I was at work, holding the hand of a young child. I looked down at him and his name was gone. From my brain. I had just asked his teacher less than two minutes ago what his name was.…
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Whenever I Fall
I don’t have much to write about that I can share. I have parts of stories, little morsels that harden the longer they are exposed. She used to buy me Gladiolus. I have a memory of her placing them in a vase, and arranging them to her liking. He used to call me “Al,” a…
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Transitions
I’ve been at my job for six days now. I previously predicted that I would be overwhelmed at first and indeed I was. Just learning my way around the school, remembering students names, and who has which backpack and coat was enough new information to send my head spinning. I felt like crying after the…
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Why Didn’t They Love Me
I feel the water swirling around my ankles, and I hear the swish swish of the water, urging me to reach the shore and be done with it already. Why so impatient? This is supposed to be a peaceful moment. But I can’t relax. I pull the canoe behind me. Ah, it’s the canoe. It…
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Fat Face
I had a little chit chat with my psychiatrist today. He always opens the conversation with “How are things going?” I was able to say “pretty good, stress at work, but that’s the usual.” He dove right into the secure message I sent him about not wanting to take naltrexone to help me control my…
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Three Days
Today I don’t have any plans; I will just see where the wind takes me. I love days like this, where I can sleep in, and leisurely start my day. Last night I went to an outdoor house concert in Utley, Texas, and met a wonderful musician and artist who also used to be an…
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What a Mess
Each time I sit down to write I have negative thoughts in my head that I’m a very terrible, boring writer and no one wants to read what I write. I have started three blog posts and given up on them. But I like writing, so I am going to carry on, and ignore the…
Moody Paper 