I returned the napkin that I stole from County Line Barbeque without incident.  No arrest.  The napkins were still the same, so I just slipped it on the table.  I even ordered an all vegetarian meal as penance.  

Today the pizza guy delivered a pizza; I signed for it and stole his pen.  He asked for it back, eventually.  Pointing to the antique desk on my porch with a puzzled look, he tried to figure out why the seat was in front.  I gave him a moment to process, and he got it.  I pulled the seat up and down.  “It’s old, it’s from Sicily.”   He smiled.  “Cool, that’s cool. Can I have my pen back, unless you need it?  It’s my only pen.”  Now I wonder if he even cared about my antique desk at all or just wanted his pen.  Men who deliver, they are always trying to find a way to let you down easy.

I have stolen more pens than napkins, and certainly have stolen fewer hearts than the two of those combined.  I feel I’ve returned them all; sleep will come easily tonight.