My mind is racing just a bit, as I stumble out the door to walk my dog at 4:30 in the morning. I hear lyrics: “Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room…” I hear a grocery list: bananas, milk, pudding. I feel the wind kick up in a sudden gust, and it feels divine.

I should probably get some sleep. I try, but the thoughts are swirling. I am despondent. It feels the time to live, breathe, think, play, dance, and laugh is quickly unraveling. Eighteen more days until I go back to work.

Wait. That is eighteen more days to feel the wind. It’s not too late to change direction. You do that all day long. Chitter chatter, talking yourself into a better mood. Here we go. The sun is coming up and it’s going to be a beautiful day. You have a great book to read, and a day with no obligations waiting for you. You can drive anywhere, do anything. You have freedom. Just do a load of laundry first, to assuage the guilt. “We all know why she mopped the floor first,” my brain regurgitates. And it all goes to dark again.

Let’s get it “back to good.” Ah, we’ve come full circle to more song lyrics. I am never lonely with my brain, it is forever chatting with me.