Don’t move. Everything will be ok.

That’s how I was feeling yesterday, floating just above my anxiety about work so as not to be overwhelmed. Today was a crazy day at work, but I created some calm within the chaos by singing to the children as it was time to lay down to rest. I made up a song about going down for nap, to the tune of a childhood melody, “this is the way we take a nap, take a nap, take a nap, this is the way we take a nap early in the afternoon.” The room instantly felt more peaceful as we turned down the lights and I covered students in blankets as I sang, and they gently laid down to rest. Yesterday I was feeling defeated, but today I feel hopeful that once the routines are established, there will be a greater sense of order and we will see these children do great things.

I’m sure I will have days where I don’t feel so hopeful and I will have to recall moments such as the nap song to keep me going. I have been writing this post across three evenings, after struggles at work, and today was a particularly difficult day. We have five students that have high needs and could really use one adult with each child due to behaviors. I am still in good spirits because I feel like I have stepped up my game to get closer to meeting the challenge. I have plenty of room for improvement, but at least I feel like I am participating at a level of responsibility that is greater than I have in the past.

I was doing car rider duty after school yesterday and a young boy about the age of seven from another class was asking me questions, such as “How old are you?” and my favorite, “Do you know how old you are going to be when you die?” I shrugged my shoulders and answered “no, I don’t know.” Then he was called to his car, so the conversation ended. I love little moments like that, where you are left to wonder what’s going on in their world that these are the questions on their mind. Realizing that we get to experience a small sliver of life as they see it, a special gift that they have shared with us. And if we are very fortunate, we get to know some children beyond the slivers of life and learn their stories.