I am reading Julie Fast’s and John Preston’s second edition of Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. It has been years since I read the first edition, so I will get a refresher course on building up my toolbox with helpful approaches to taking care of my bipolar. Every day I must take heed of how my bipolar is effecting me, and sometimes when it’s really noisy in my brain it can be exhausting. I get really bizarre intrusive thoughts that I have to battle. The most recent one is when I am driving, and I am at a stop light, my brain tells me to hit the gas petal as hard as I can and plow into the car in front of me. And I have to tell my brain “no.” It’s the weirdest thing. If I am the first one at the light, the voice in my head tells me to venture into the intersection while the light is still red. They are easy enough to talk back to, and replace with happier thoughts, so I am not too concerned, but it is annoying that they are even there. I suppose they stem from my car accident. I do not write this to scare or worry people, but to cement in my mind that it is something to pay attention to. When it’s just floating around in my brain, it’s nebulous, and I don’t take action. It’s only when I type it out that I understand the level of concern that I should have. And maybe there is someone out there that has intrusive thoughts like mine and they will relate. So I turn to Natasha Tracy for information on intrusive thoughts. She says there is medication that can help, so that is great news! I have contacted my psychiatrist and I’m sure he will be of help. Natasha also has 5 tips for dealing with the intrusive thoughts that I can put to good use right away. Julie Fast writes of thought intrusions that they are “a normal part of bipolar for many people… and should be discussed openly and naturally so they can be recognized early and ultimately prevented.” So I am not alone in this, which I find comforting. It is just one of those things on my daily task list to deal with, and since I love music, I think I will replace each thought with a song. “Sugar Please.” by The Brothers Comatose featuring Nicki Bluhm.

“I need some goodness to cure these maladies…”