My principal offered me the choice of three positions for next school year. She had heard from someone that I was considering leaving my current job and looking elsewhere. I am not all that concerned who told her, as I try to stay far away from the rumor mill. I am actually blessed by the result. She gave me five days to think about it, as they were starting interviews for the positions the next day.

My current position is working with special education students ages 5-7. Yesterday I told my principal that my choice was to move to ECSE, which is Early Childhood Special Education, ages 3-5. I have been told by a teacher I greatly admire that the environment would be a very good match for my values and philosophy of working with children. I look forward to working with the teachers in the room, and getting to know the kids and watching them grow.

The one hitch is they don’t know I am bipolar. Unless the rumor mill made it their way. My current colleagues know, so it’s very possible word spread beyond our room. Who could resist that juicy piece of info? In any case, I shall have to see if a time comes when it is appropriate to share the information with my new coworkers. I will operate on the assumption that they don’t know.

Of course my bipolar brain is plagued with doubt, and I am filled with imposter syndrome. How long will it take for them to figure out I’m no good at this? How will they react? Will they be as understanding as my current coworkers? I have been told the lead teacher requested me, so I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Changes, even positive ones, can be a trigger for a bipolar mood swing. The best thing I can do to avoid that is stick to my self care routine. Eight hours of sleep each night, exercise, taking my medication, eating well, limiting alcohol and caffeine. That is the goal. Right now, I fall a little short, I need to get more sleep, eat better, and exercise more. Summer vacation will be a good time to make these adjustments.

Tomorrow I have my end of the year evaluation with my principal; we’ll talk more about the change of jobs at that time. I’m so excited!