Two days ago my brain broke. It just refused to do what it needed to do, and I ended up doing nothing. I can’t do nothing and still be good at this job, so I have to figure out how to keep my brain from breaking. At first, I was hanging on until the end of the day. Now I am hanging on in increments of five minutes at a time. You can do anything for five minutes I tell my brain. “Nope!” it shouts back. I stand there doing nothing.
People notice. It angers them that I am doing nothing. They lash out at me. I want to explain that my brain broke, but I am still keeping my secret. I fantasize about running to the principal, telling him all, and letting the pieces fall where they may. But no, I can be stronger than that. I can fix my broken brain.
The holiday break is here, so at least it was a well timed shut down of my brain. I have time to mend. There are things I will worry about, of that I am certain. I want to cry, I need to cry, and I can’t do it. My body registers the pent up energy of not being able to cry, and it makes me feel irritable inside. I try to hide it.
You are fixing a broken brain. Rest. Let go. Just be.
Moody Paper 
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