One of my more memorable manic episodes, five years after I was diagnosed, resulted in the making of a short film that was entitled Reflections in Passing. I had an interest in screenwriting which began after seeing the film Good Will Hunting written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, and further cemented by the film Magnolia by Paul Thomas Anderson.

In my manic state, I was impatient and inspired, so I emailed the head of an Austin film group and told her I had a short script I wanted to film. I said I was looking for a modest crew willing to film it, and that I would pay a decent salary to the crew. She wrote to me and said she was a director and had a crew that she worked with, and from there we just took off. It was a frenzy of emails to hone the script, find locations, cast the film, hire actors, and start rehearsals. 

The whole time I was involved in this adventure, I didn’t realize I was manic. I just thought I had a dream that I really wanted to see come to fruition. But I wasn’t thinking about how this effected anyone else in my family, I just jumped in without even talking to them about it. I stayed awake late into the night making props for the film and adding changes to the script as needed. I was medicated at the time; otherwise the mania would have been much worse.

The film is about two friends, a boy and girl, who are walking in a cemetery, with the intention of visiting the grave of the boy’s brother who died in the Vietnam War. At least that’s who we think they are visiting. There is a twist in the plot, and a different experience awaits the girl in the film.

We filmed at the Texas State Cemetery, which was a beautiful location. The director announced that we locked picture on 07/07/07 around midnight. We still had to add music, and I was fortunate to have George Oldziey compose the score. He composed the scores of Spy Kids movies, and many other Robert Rodriguez films. 

Making a short film was an incredible experience that I will always cherish, and a time mania propelled me to accomplish something creative; the film was shown at a festival and a conference, but my mania was winding down and I lost interest in funding it for distribution. Somewhere around my house I have the short film on DVD, it would be fun to unearth it and watch it again.

I am not encouraging manic states, I have only had two the resulted in positive outcomes, and there was a cost to each of those. When I look back, the negative outcomes of most manias far outweigh any of the positive experiences. Staying on my medication has helped me to avoid the most negative outcomes.