I am experiencing a ripple effect in my mental health care, and the initial splash is my alcohol use. Because of this, my psychiatrist has asked me to try naltrexone first, to aid in my journey to be sober. Naltrexone, he hopes, will ripple out to sobriety, and lower my incidence of intrusive thoughts. If I continue to find them troublesome, he will raise my prozac. He seems pretty confident that the alcohol use is the most detrimental to my mental health at the moment.

I don’t want to take more pills. I have an attitude problem, for sure, but I feel it gradually melt away as I talk to my psychiatrist. Yes, this is the best course of action. There are side effects. Take it during the day so possible side effects don’t keep you awake. I am looking forward to being wide awake and nauseous. I was supposed to take these pills after my last appointment, but I never went to pick them up. What’s different? My drinking increased, as did the intrusive thoughts, becoming slightly more persistent, I must admit. I don’t want them to get to troublesome and alarming. Right now they are almost silent, because I am not driving my car much. I guess it’s not realistic to uber everywhere.

I am one day sober. How about that. Hey, it’s something, I tell all the chittering voices in my head. I picture them like cartoon chipmunks. So cute! They get a front row seat to my new resolve. I can see into the future; my chipmunks are thrilled at my sobriety, full of pride and clapping for me. I have time to write an acceptance speech, I will work on it every day as a reminder; this time, I am going to win.