It’s been a while. Hello. I wonder how you are.

I’ve been wondering how I am, too. I had to take extra medication to curtail a mania that I felt coming on, and it has dulled my emotions, slowed down my body, and delayed my heartbreak.

When I was manic I started an etsy shop to sell greeting cards made from artwork that my husband and I did. I put nine products in the store, then the medicine kicked in and I lost some of the enthusiasm to work on it. I am still invested in it, but plodding along instead of whizzing through. You can see our cards and art here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/moodypapercards/?etsrc=sdt

A friend of mine died unexpectedly. He was drinking heavily and taking pain pills; his mother said he passed peacefully in his sleep. I was told that there was no sign of intentionality. I have cried, but not for long, and not the good ugly-cry sobbing that I know would help me heal. I am trying to feel the emotions as they come. I found myself pleading, “Please come back,” as tears rolled down my face. I am blessed, though. He sent me a lovely message the day before he died.

The mania took a lot of energy from me, but I am stable, happy overall, and looking forward to a remembrance ritual I will create for my friend when I feel ready. As my therapist said, “fire often works well.” So I will gather his messages, set them ablaze, and remember him fondly.